Into the Heart of the Sea

by Allan Douglas

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about

“In the past I’ve made recordings because I wanted to – but this is the first recording I made because I felt compelled to do it.” Into the Heart of the Sea is the personal journal of a life’s bottom dropping out. The thirteen songs are snapshots wrestling with death, loss, heaven, joy, faith, grief, and love, all buried within an opaque bed of post-surf, reverb-drenched cinematic sound that is at times as unsettling, paralyzing, and harrowing as it is candid, reflective, and a natural complement to a contemplative night drive.

Sonically the recordings place the listener in the midst of a massive ocean wave: breathtaking, powerful, menacing, unnerving, and ultimately richly rewarding. Aggressively stark guitars blend seamlessly into impossibly lush orchestrations while western pedal steel collides with urbane bass-heavy beats. Every song rises and falls like a storm-tossed wave as it tells each chapter of the journey.

“Thanks for listening to a brutally honest group of recordings. Hold fast to the very end. ‘Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea.’”

credits

released January 20, 2012

Produced and Arranged by Allan Douglas
Mixed by Melissa Mattey
Mastered by Justin Bonnema at Mayfield Mastering
Cover painting and photography by Tiffany Dupree
Design and layout by Priscilla Medders
© 2011 Allan Douglas
This has been a sojourner production.
www.allandouglas.net

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Allan Douglas Nashville, Tennessee

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Track Name: After the Flood
our sweetest dreams, they've all turned back
wrong way on a one way track
i want to say that i can't let go
the words won't come and time moves slow

CHORUS
i know your soul just sinks like stone
and there's something missing inside our home
good things will come, they're on their way
good things will come, they'll be here any day

i never thought this is how i'd become
one who's held the wrong end of a gun
we withdrew as though marked with blood
in the confusion after the flood

CHORUS
i know the news that broke your heart
and there's something missing in the back of this car
good things will come, they're almost here
good things will come, hold on, dear

i hold my breath as the ocean swells
i know i can't redeem myself
dawn will come and end this night
i hope and pray to God i'm right

CHORUS
i know the angels can't console us now
and there's something missing here and now
good things will come, around the bend
good things will come, i just don't know when
good things will come, i must believe
good things will come, just wait and see
Track Name: (When I Know) I'm Outta Line
Burn off, Rust out
Choke down the dust
Of deserted love
Deep in a tailspin
I pray for sleep
Through my insomniac dreams

CHORUS
Stay away
Every time you know just what to find
Can you hear me as I read my mind
When I know I’m outta line

VERSE 2
Turn off Tune out
Ignore the pleas
When the verdict reads:
Broken Tragic
A clanging bell
Dorian Gray in a motel

CHORUS
Stay away
Every time you know just what to find
Stay away
Every time you know just what to find
Can you hear me as I read my mind?
When I know I’m outta line
Track Name: Your Smile Made Up My Mind
Storm clouds gather as the bells toll the costly fare
Of the ferry of your soul into heav’nly care
I trace your sweet name from the gravestone cold
Fold the paper in my pocket for my journey home
Your smile made up my mind
Oh, the highway soars beyond the final star
Leaves behind this land of struggle and toil

Darling, it’s dark; the fog mixing with the haze
The only light on a deep Sunday night is your casket all ablaze

CHORUS
When we said goodbye to the garden
I thought we’d run out of time
But I won’t stop now ‘til I see you again
Your smile made up my mind

The rain is driving, and my darling, oh, so am I
Above are signposts of a threatening lightning sky
The master plan, when time began, peace will be mine

CHORUS
When we said goodbye to the garden
I thought we’d run out of time
But I won’t stop now ‘til I see you again
Your smile made up my mind

When we said goodbye to the garden
I thought we’d run out of time
But I won’t stop now ‘til I see you again
Your smile made up my mind
Track Name: My Dirty Name
I’ve got six books of numbers and no one to call
I drift through the tresses of worry and all
The pieces are there but the picture’s not right
I refuse to ever get used to being the quiet type

VERSE
I walk through the silence of my dirty name
Millions are screaming, they all sound the same
I’ll turn myself in, it’s not worth this fight
It’s not worth doing anything at all if I can’t hit it right

CHORUS
Don’t try to tell me I’m holding you down
‘Cause it ain’t so easy when you come around

VERSE
There ain’t nothing that could ever be said
The loneliness pounds like a drum in my head
Prop me up at the gates of hell – I won’t make a fist
At such vicious range, it’s hard not to miss

CHORUS

VERSE
Take back the memory; I’ll take back my plea
Take back each torch you carried for me
What else to say? The best years of our lives
I’d admit that I’m weak, but not at your price
Track Name: Rebels
You know us rebels
We never say die
Beyond the horizon
You and I

Moonlight filters through
The cigarette smoke
Combines with neon
As the posers mod and the models pose
You looked at me
With surprise
One smile later
You’d changed my life and changed my mind


CHORUS 2
You know us rebels
We never say die
Beyond the horizon
You and I
Reading shape notes
Nothing else to do
We're loved and loving
Me and you

I’ve walked and walked
And tried to decide
If all these streets
Lead back home, will I make it through the night?
I recite the names
I've heard too much
But you are different
I know I know I don’t know you enough

CHORUS 1
You know us rebels
We never say die
Beyond the horizon
You and I


Let me love you
Count on me
We will never
Write our love in chalk in the midst of the sea

CHORUS 2
Track Name: All I Ever Had
I dreamt last night the tide came up and took us all away
Your heart beat with the thunder and rain, I’m reminded day after day
You were the strongest between us, you had it all to lose
I walked out of the house and the wind rolled about like your voice on a Sunday afternoon

CHORUS
The gate won’t shut, the stairs still creak
My faith is strong but my heart is weak
You’re all I ever needed and I’m glad
Cause you’re all I ever had

Everyone acts like they all know, I can’t look them in the eyes
I stand outside my broken fence, I never said goodbye
I hear your voice call me in, the truth is it’s the wind again
I head upstairs and into bed to dream once more of you

CHORUS

BRIDGE
In the middle of the night, the tide came in and took you away from me
I can’t go back, my tears like waves ferrying you to sea

CHORUS
Track Name: When Words Fail
Your lover is dying
You try not to make a sound
The stillness is sighing
And fires cover the ground

Your lover is dying
You’re afraid of wasted tears
She says the light is blinding
But nothing looks too clear

CHORUS
Do well to understand
It’s the commonwealth of man

Your lover is dying
You can’t choose any hymns
The faithful will remind you
When words fail again

CHORUS
“It’s all part of the plan”
The commonwealth of man

CHORUS
Falling when we think we stand
When we thought it was in hand
What was once a gorgeous plan
Is now the common fate of man
Track Name: Classic Picture Show
Gentle laughter makes for quiet tears
I know you’d often like to disappear
Work is done and supper’s on the way
Sometimes you leave and then sometimes you stay

Broken clouds accent the auburn sky
My cocoon once held a butterfly
Those days seem like years ago
Sometimes you guess and then sometimes you know

Evening drifts and morning fades
The voices always sound the same
Driving through the moonlit night
Sometimes you run and then sometimes you fight

The sun is up and I’m on the run
As I’m learning how to be someone
Don’t make me stay, no, please let me go
With your silent classic picture show
Track Name: Lay Down My Guns
my voice is low, “I told you so”
then wait to hear
your rain won’t come, our land is done
you won’t draw near

CHANNEL
when it’s over, I won’t recall what I said
when it’s over, I‘ll see your face instead

VERSE
bars locked with key, I won’t believe
the pale blue sky
verdict rings true, your words are few
the last daylight

BRIDGE
there’s nothing to be gained
nothing to be saved
my last chance you sold to me
but you knew I’d never see
you knew I’d throw away the key

VERSE
the judgment came, won’t be the same
I took, you gave
the cradle, youth; our love misused
await the grave

BRIDGE
there’s nothing to be gained
nothing to be saved
our last dance you stole from me
but you knew I’d never see
you knew I’d throw away the key
Track Name: Behind the Door
A weary fragile life; struggle, sacrifice
Desperate toiled days, and restless distant nights
Bread turns into rock, my pillow’s often stone
How I long to see, to depart for home

We blandly try to smile in this eleventh-hour dusk
The pillars hold us up and press on we must
I can’t see the sky but the river’s now in sight
This final grace of God calls joy into my life

CHORUS
A fallen man, a vapor’s span
But I wait for something more
One face in crowds, from lost to found
So here I stand behind the door

With the sojourn o’er, the pilgrim finds his rest
The river’s tide comes in; I welcome my last test
In the blinking of an eye, just beyond the door
The worship and the peace, my tempted toil is o’er

CHORUS

New beating of a heart, sweet presence of a dove
I look upon the face of mercy, grace and truth and love

CHORUS

CODA
And if I die before I fall asleep
Please cradle my poor soul and send pure joy and peace
And if I die before I learn to breathe
Please give me strength, something true to believe
And if I die before I learn to speak
Please whisper words of innocence upon their rosy cheek
And if I die before I learn to see
Please send me yellowed photographs of all that I would never be
And if I die before I’m ever born
Please love me long past that cold February morn
And if I die before the battle’s done
Please find grace in Your sight ‘til all is overcome
And if I die before my life is through
Please let me spend all my precious time with you
Track Name: Postscript and Silhouette
There is a smile that does arrive at the close of aching night
The dew is fresh, a sweet’ning smell, the hues are rich and all is well.

A moment’s look at shadows new, a warm sunray dispels the cool
The birds sing out their choruses, a quick’ning step, the morn begins

CHORUS
My mind will still see what my eyes cannot
When years run away with what I’ve forgot

VERSE
There is a smile, lasts but a time, daylight fading by design
Clouds linger after the rain, specters growing once again
Crickets sing another song, junebugs glow above the lawn
Sun’s last gasp frees its cover, dusk has dawned, dark takes over

CHORUS
My mind will still see what my eyes cannot
When years run away with what I’ve forgot