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Into the Heart of the Sea

by Allan Douglas

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1.
After the Flood (free) 06:05
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our sweetest dreams, they've all turned back wrong way on a one way track i want to say that i can't let go the words won't come and time moves slow CHORUS i know your soul just sinks like stone and there's something missing inside our home good things will come, they're on their way good things will come, they'll be here any day i never thought this is how i'd become one who's held the wrong end of a gun we withdrew as though marked with blood in the confusion after the flood CHORUS i know the news that broke your heart and there's something missing in the back of this car good things will come, they're almost here good things will come, hold on, dear i hold my breath as the ocean swells i know i can't redeem myself dawn will come and end this night i hope and pray to God i'm right CHORUS i know the angels can't console us now and there's something missing here and now good things will come, around the bend good things will come, i just don't know when good things will come, i must believe good things will come, just wait and see
2.
(When I Know) I'm Outta Line 02:51
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Burn off, Rust out Choke down the dust Of deserted love Deep in a tailspin I pray for sleep Through my insomniac dreams CHORUS Stay away Every time you know just what to find Can you hear me as I read my mind When I know I’m outta line VERSE 2 Turn off Tune out Ignore the pleas When the verdict reads: Broken Tragic A clanging bell Dorian Gray in a motel CHORUS Stay away Every time you know just what to find Stay away Every time you know just what to find Can you hear me as I read my mind? When I know I’m outta line
3.
Your Smile Made Up My Mind 03:46
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Storm clouds gather as the bells toll the costly fare Of the ferry of your soul into heav’nly care I trace your sweet name from the gravestone cold Fold the paper in my pocket for my journey home Your smile made up my mind Oh, the highway soars beyond the final star Leaves behind this land of struggle and toil Darling, it’s dark; the fog mixing with the haze The only light on a deep Sunday night is your casket all ablaze CHORUS When we said goodbye to the garden I thought we’d run out of time But I won’t stop now ‘til I see you again Your smile made up my mind The rain is driving, and my darling, oh, so am I Above are signposts of a threatening lightning sky The master plan, when time began, peace will be mine CHORUS When we said goodbye to the garden I thought we’d run out of time But I won’t stop now ‘til I see you again Your smile made up my mind When we said goodbye to the garden I thought we’d run out of time But I won’t stop now ‘til I see you again Your smile made up my mind
4.
My Dirty Name 04:32
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I’ve got six books of numbers and no one to call I drift through the tresses of worry and all The pieces are there but the picture’s not right I refuse to ever get used to being the quiet type VERSE I walk through the silence of my dirty name Millions are screaming, they all sound the same I’ll turn myself in, it’s not worth this fight It’s not worth doing anything at all if I can’t hit it right CHORUS Don’t try to tell me I’m holding you down ‘Cause it ain’t so easy when you come around VERSE There ain’t nothing that could ever be said The loneliness pounds like a drum in my head Prop me up at the gates of hell – I won’t make a fist At such vicious range, it’s hard not to miss CHORUS VERSE Take back the memory; I’ll take back my plea Take back each torch you carried for me What else to say? The best years of our lives I’d admit that I’m weak, but not at your price
5.
Rebels 02:59
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You know us rebels We never say die Beyond the horizon You and I Moonlight filters through The cigarette smoke Combines with neon As the posers mod and the models pose You looked at me With surprise One smile later You’d changed my life and changed my mind CHORUS 2 You know us rebels We never say die Beyond the horizon You and I Reading shape notes Nothing else to do We're loved and loving Me and you I’ve walked and walked And tried to decide If all these streets Lead back home, will I make it through the night? I recite the names I've heard too much But you are different I know I know I don’t know you enough CHORUS 1 You know us rebels We never say die Beyond the horizon You and I Let me love you Count on me We will never Write our love in chalk in the midst of the sea CHORUS 2
6.
Daytime Girl 04:39
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7.
All I Ever Had 03:36
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I dreamt last night the tide came up and took us all away Your heart beat with the thunder and rain, I’m reminded day after day You were the strongest between us, you had it all to lose I walked out of the house and the wind rolled about like your voice on a Sunday afternoon CHORUS The gate won’t shut, the stairs still creak My faith is strong but my heart is weak You’re all I ever needed and I’m glad Cause you’re all I ever had Everyone acts like they all know, I can’t look them in the eyes I stand outside my broken fence, I never said goodbye I hear your voice call me in, the truth is it’s the wind again I head upstairs and into bed to dream once more of you CHORUS BRIDGE In the middle of the night, the tide came in and took you away from me I can’t go back, my tears like waves ferrying you to sea CHORUS
8.
When Words Fail 05:26
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Your lover is dying You try not to make a sound The stillness is sighing And fires cover the ground Your lover is dying You’re afraid of wasted tears She says the light is blinding But nothing looks too clear CHORUS Do well to understand It’s the commonwealth of man Your lover is dying You can’t choose any hymns The faithful will remind you When words fail again CHORUS “It’s all part of the plan” The commonwealth of man CHORUS Falling when we think we stand When we thought it was in hand What was once a gorgeous plan Is now the common fate of man
9.
Classic Picture Show 02:54
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Gentle laughter makes for quiet tears I know you’d often like to disappear Work is done and supper’s on the way Sometimes you leave and then sometimes you stay Broken clouds accent the auburn sky My cocoon once held a butterfly Those days seem like years ago Sometimes you guess and then sometimes you know Evening drifts and morning fades The voices always sound the same Driving through the moonlit night Sometimes you run and then sometimes you fight The sun is up and I’m on the run As I’m learning how to be someone Don’t make me stay, no, please let me go With your silent classic picture show
10.
Lay Down My Guns 03:36
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my voice is low, “I told you so” then wait to hear your rain won’t come, our land is done you won’t draw near CHANNEL when it’s over, I won’t recall what I said when it’s over, I‘ll see your face instead VERSE bars locked with key, I won’t believe the pale blue sky verdict rings true, your words are few the last daylight BRIDGE there’s nothing to be gained nothing to be saved my last chance you sold to me but you knew I’d never see you knew I’d throw away the key VERSE the judgment came, won’t be the same I took, you gave the cradle, youth; our love misused await the grave BRIDGE there’s nothing to be gained nothing to be saved our last dance you stole from me but you knew I’d never see you knew I’d throw away the key
11.
Behind the Door 06:30
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A weary fragile life; struggle, sacrifice Desperate toiled days, and restless distant nights Bread turns into rock, my pillow’s often stone How I long to see, to depart for home We blandly try to smile in this eleventh-hour dusk The pillars hold us up and press on we must I can’t see the sky but the river’s now in sight This final grace of God calls joy into my life CHORUS A fallen man, a vapor’s span But I wait for something more One face in crowds, from lost to found So here I stand behind the door With the sojourn o’er, the pilgrim finds his rest The river’s tide comes in; I welcome my last test In the blinking of an eye, just beyond the door The worship and the peace, my tempted toil is o’er CHORUS New beating of a heart, sweet presence of a dove I look upon the face of mercy, grace and truth and love CHORUS CODA And if I die before I fall asleep Please cradle my poor soul and send pure joy and peace And if I die before I learn to breathe Please give me strength, something true to believe And if I die before I learn to speak Please whisper words of innocence upon their rosy cheek And if I die before I learn to see Please send me yellowed photographs of all that I would never be And if I die before I’m ever born Please love me long past that cold February morn And if I die before the battle’s done Please find grace in Your sight ‘til all is overcome And if I die before my life is through Please let me spend all my precious time with you
12.
Hold Fast 00:51
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13.
Postscript and Silhouette 04:45
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There is a smile that does arrive at the close of aching night The dew is fresh, a sweet’ning smell, the hues are rich and all is well. A moment’s look at shadows new, a warm sunray dispels the cool The birds sing out their choruses, a quick’ning step, the morn begins CHORUS My mind will still see what my eyes cannot When years run away with what I’ve forgot VERSE There is a smile, lasts but a time, daylight fading by design Clouds linger after the rain, specters growing once again Crickets sing another song, junebugs glow above the lawn Sun’s last gasp frees its cover, dusk has dawned, dark takes over CHORUS My mind will still see what my eyes cannot When years run away with what I’ve forgot

about

“In the past I’ve made recordings because I wanted to – but this is the first recording I made because I felt compelled to do it.” Into the Heart of the Sea is the personal journal of a life’s bottom dropping out. The thirteen songs are snapshots wrestling with death, loss, heaven, joy, faith, grief, and love, all buried within an opaque bed of post-surf, reverb-drenched cinematic sound that is at times as unsettling, paralyzing, and harrowing as it is candid, reflective, and a natural complement to a contemplative night drive.

Sonically the recordings place the listener in the midst of a massive ocean wave: breathtaking, powerful, menacing, unnerving, and ultimately richly rewarding. Aggressively stark guitars blend seamlessly into impossibly lush orchestrations while western pedal steel collides with urbane bass-heavy beats. Every song rises and falls like a storm-tossed wave as it tells each chapter of the journey.

“Thanks for listening to a brutally honest group of recordings. Hold fast to the very end. ‘Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea.’”

credits

released January 20, 2012

Produced and Arranged by Allan Douglas
Mixed by Melissa Mattey
Mastered by Justin Bonnema at Mayfield Mastering
Cover painting and photography by Tiffany Dupree
Design and layout by Priscilla Medders
© 2011 Allan Douglas
This has been a sojourner production.
www.allandouglas.net

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